Want It Done Right Journal 3Q 2010

Feature Article • Delegation Dr Daily Dose • Corner Crack-up • Want It Done Right Products & Services

Feature Article

Where Has Personal Responsibility Gone?

Once upon a time a powerful emperor called all the young men in his village to see him. “One of you will be chosen to take my place,” he said. All the young men gasped in astonishment and looked to each other wondering who would be the chosen one. The emperor then gave each of the young men a seed. He told them to plant it, water it and tend it for one year, then bring the resulting plant back to him. One young man, Ling, took his seed home and planted it. He watered it, tended it and watched to see what would grow. Weeks went by but no sprout emerged. All the other boys boasted about how well their plants were doing. As the months went by Ling continued to see and hear about the trees and plants growing in the pots of the other boys while his yielded nothing. No matter what he did, it did not grow. Finally the year was up and it was time to take his plant back to the emperor. Ling did not want to go but his mother urged him on. Ling took his empty pot and tried to fade away in the back of the large hall behind all the other boys and their beautiful plants. The emperor looked around and exclaimed, “What gorgeous plants you have grown!” Then he spotted Ling in the back and called him to his side. Ling walked slowly to the front of the room with his head hanging and his pot empty while the other boys laughed at him. When he reached the front, the emperor exclaimed, “Here is your next emperor!” There was a gasp from the crowd. “You see,” explained the emperor, “one year ago I gave each of you a boiled seed that could not sprout. Every one of you except Ling substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Only Ling had the courage and honesty to bring the seed that I gave him back to me. He is the only one who deserves to be your emperor!”

How many of us today would replace the seed given to us by the emperor? How many of us would carry our empty pots to the emperor not knowing what the consequences of doing so might be? It seems if we conducted a poll, the results would be shameful. All we have to do is look around and read the news to know that the qualities of integrity, honesty and personal responsibility are more and more difficult to find.

On a smaller scale a sign posted in a fitness center read, “Members: Please throw paper towels into the wastebasket.” Does this make your jaw drop in astonishment? How low have we stooped that we need a sign to tell us to throw our used paper towels in the waste basket? What do the homes of people who do not throw their soiled towels away look like and who is willing to live with them? How old are these people and who raised them? How many of us have seen such behavior and said nothing? The questions could go on and on probably ending with a favorite our parents used to ask, “What is this world coming to?”

Perhaps a better question is, “What can we do about it?” While we often feel helpless in the face of such irresponsibility, maybe there are some tangible things we can do to make a difference. Here are some ideas:

Fess Up Be honest: We can and should hold ourselves accountable. The story of George Washington and the cherry tree has been one of the fundamental teachings on which our country is based yet we seem to have wandered far afield from admitting our responsibility. It’s up to each of us to get it back on track. Modeling this behavior is important for our own sense of self-esteem and integrity and it also demonstrates better behavior to those around us.

Speak Up When we see others acting in a way that is irresponsible speak up. If talking to the person doesn’t work, talk to someone higher up. For example, in the case of the sign in the fitness center, if we see someone throwing paper towels on the floor we can ask them to put the towels in the wastebasket. If they don’t we can report them to the staff or manager on duty.

Wake Up It is our responsibility to be aware of the ways in which we allow or enable others to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior and in some cases, for their lives. When we enable others we are doing them a terrible disservice. Not only are we encouraging them to continue behaving in ways that are counterproductive for themselves and others but we are basically communicating to them that we have no faith in their ability to manage their own lives. Often we’re also being very self-serving. We’re getting as much or more out of the dysfunctional relationship as they are, e.g., being the martyr, the savior or any other various roles and titles that make us look good. Establishing boundaries of personal responsibility is a very healthy step to take for ourselves and others, especially those we love.

Step Up Personal responsibility is not just about us. It’s about our responsibilities to others and to the world around us. Setting a high bar of personal responsibility means getting involved when there is an opportunity to serve, minimizing the negative impact we make on our environment and taking ownership for what we say and do. The next step is to build on our positive impact and eliminate or at least reduce our negative impact. Each of us can make a difference. The more of us who lead this effort, the more will follow in our footsteps.

The buck stops here, as President Truman so aptly put it. It is our responsibility to do what we can to model personal responsibility. If we want to make a change it’s always best to “start with the man in the mirror."

Corner Crack-up

A doctor’s office had a very cranky receptionist. A man walked in and asked to see the doctor for a sore on his chin. The receptionist replied, “Go to the first room on the right, disrobe and take a seat.”

“Why do I need to disrobe for a sore on my chin?” the man inquired.

“Sir,” she repeated more emphatically, “Go to the first room on the right, disrobe and take a seat.”

“But,” the man started to say but the receptionist cut him off even more stridently, “Go to the first room on the right, disrobe and take a seat!”

Realizing there was no point arguing with her he followed her directions. In the room he found a young man sitting in his boxers.

“Cranky receptionist, eh? No arguing with her!” he said to the young man.

The young man replied, “No kidding! I’m just the UPS driver!”

Delegation Doctor’s Daily Dose

In the 1Q10 and 2Q10 Want It Done Right Journal the Delegation Doctor’s Daily Dose articles were about starting the New Year and the new decade with a new approach to life —fulfilling our life dreams by managing our time rather than allowing it to manage us. Throughout the rest of this year I’ve been continuing this theme of managing our time and our lives. To quickly review, here are the ten points from the 1Q10 and 2Q10 articles in this series:

State your dreams – on paper and post them where you’ll see them often.
Identify the steps to start moving toward your dreams.
Outline what progress would look like and the timeline within which to achieve that progress.
Commit time each week to focus on realizing your dreams rather than allowing little things to swallow up your time.
Keep moving forward, even if you take a step back.
Reduce TV time by at least half. Pick a few shows you like and use these as a fun break or entertainment time.
Make a list of new things to try and try them.
Learn when to say “No.”
Learn when to say “Yes.”
Carve out personal time.

Hopefully you’ve already experienced positive life changes as a result of your efforts in the 10 steps above. So why not keep up a good thing? Here are five more steps to keep you moving in the right direction toward better managing your time and your life and toward fulfilling your dreams.

Have some fun! It’s summer! Summer is a great time to reinvigorate your life by increasing the time you spend doing what you enjoy most. If you don’t know what that is, spend some time figuring it out. Make a list of things you have enjoyed in the past or think you might enjoy, and then do them. Create time in your busy days, weeks or months to do what you enjoy most. Take a vacation. Do something, anything to increase your fun!

Look at life through the eyes of a child. Being an adult has its drawbacks. One of these drawbacks is that everything gets more complicated. As a result we lose sight of simple things that can increase our quality of life. A great way to reclaim our innocence is to look at life through the eyes of a child. See the wonder they experience in simple things like a close-up look at a flower or a ladybug on a blade of grass. Recapturing our appreciation for simple things can enhance our experience of life in general.

Do something, anything different. It is so easy to have our lives become a set of ruts. We create habits to simplify our lives but these same habits and the resulting “automation” of our behaviors can sap the joy out of much of what we do. The same habits intended to simplify our lives can rule our lives, placing us in a stranglehold of mind-numbing activities. If this is the case, it’s time to do some “housecleaning” in our lives. Clean out these habits by reorganizing what we do, why we do it and how we do it. If we’re not sure where to begin, just try slight modifications like packing our lunch one day a week and eating it in a nearby park. Even small changes can help us break out of old habits.

Go outdoors everychance you get. Many of us spend too much of our lives in windowless offices with no fresh air or sunshine to rejuvenate us. With better weather it’s time to get outside, even if it’s just for a short time each day. Go for a walk around the block in the morning, at lunch, after dinner or all three! Fresh air, sunshine and the break from our routines can do wonders for our mental and physical health.

Move your body. In addition to spending our lives in windowless offices with no fresh air or sunshine we spend a lot of time sitting — at our desks, in meetings, in cars, in front of the television, in airplanes, etc. This lack of movement decreases blood flow and causes our muscles to atrophy. Movement of any kind and duration can reverse this process. So even if you can’t step outside for a moment on any given day, you can stand up, stretch, and take a walk down the hall. Any movement is better than no movement.

Adding these five steps to the first ten will continue to keep you moving in the right direction toward not only better managing your time and your life but also toward living your dreams. Good luck this quarter and check in again next quarter to learn more on how to continue your journey. Happy trails and enjoy this summer as if you were a kid again!

If you have read the book or attended a presentation or training and would like to comment,

please share your delegation story.