Want It Done Right Journal 1Q 2007

Feature Article • Delegation Dr Daily Dose • Corner Crack-up • WIDR Products & Services • My Virtual Manager^TM

Feature Article

Minimize Reactions to Maximize Actions

With the start of the New Year, I can’t help but think of “what ifs.” What if things were different? What if people were different? What if I could change one thing in this world? If I could, what would it be?

If I could change one thing in the world it would be our seemingly natural inclination to react. It seems everyday I hear of or see damage done by people’s reactivity. The pace of the world has driven an increasingly quick response time. Unfortunately, our reactions are based on our perceptions which are often limited and our judgments which are often biased. When we react we move from perception to judgment to reaction in under a minute. No wonder our reactions miss the target! And when we miss the target, our reactions cause more problems than they resolve.

When our stress levels increase, our reactivity increases as well. Reactions under stress are even more damaging because our perceptions become more severely limited and our judgments become more severely biased when we’re under stress. The more we react, the more reactions we create in others around us creating multiple chain reactions. Before you know it we’re caught in a vortex of reactivity. This vortex is not a fun place to be. It devours our time, our energy, and our enthusiasm.

How do we avoid reacting in a cultural environment that values and demands incisive action—a culture that doesn’t seem to discern the difference between action and reaction? What if we were to turn our reaction cycle—Perception, Judgment, Reaction—into an action cycle— Perception, Judgment, Action? Rather than moving from perception to judgment to reaction within a minute, the action cycle expands the time spent looking at our perceptions and judgments before reacting. By spending more time on the front end of the cycle, we decrease the number and intensity of consequences we have to deal with on the back end. We turn a reaction into an action. The action cycle looks like this:

Perception: When an event occurs take time to step back and get a broader perspective. Try to think about the event from different viewpoints. Expand your thought process from your immediate and personal perspective to how others might see the situation. Talk to others about their perceptions to get a bigger picture perspective.

Judgment: Consider what judgments you’re placing on the situation and the people in it. Are these judgments hurtful or helpful? What beliefs do you hold that introduce unnecessary bias into the situation? Are these beliefs accurate? Minimizing your judgments decreases the emotional intensity of the situation and makes you more inclined to ask questions rather than make assumptions. It helps you take a “what’s right” rather than a “who’s right” approach.

Action: Think about what occurred, what your immediate reaction is, what the ramifications of different actions might be, and how others might react to your various actions. Once you’ve thought about what your role (if any) in the situation should be, take the action you feel is best. You may decide no action is best! Share your thought process behind your actions so people have a context for what you’ve decided to do and why. Discussing your thought process helps people understand that you are acting rather than reacting. Share what you anticipate their reaction to be and why you pursued your course of action despite their anticipated reaction. Ask for feedback about what you’ve chosen to do and what their immediate reaction is. See if you can help them create an action, rather than reaction, cycle as well.

Being more thoughtful not only decreases reactivity, it decreases the fallout of reactivity. Reacting results in unnecessary flare-ups and hurt feelings. We pride ourselves on being good problem-solvers but often don’t recognize that in our haste to solve a problem reactively, we create more problems to solve. While solving problems may give us an immediate ego boost (we feel needed and useful), reactive “problem-solving” creates more stress and strain for us and everyone around us. The action cycle is a more fine-tuned version of “look before you leap.” It defines what you should look at to make sure your leap is productive; it will minimize your reactivity and maximize your activity.

Corner Crack-up

Quotes taken from actual performance evaluations:

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

Delegation Doctor’s Daily Dose

Every year I make the same resolution—balance of life. It’s the same every year because I believe balance of life is more of an unfolding journey than a destination.

Balance of life seems synonymous with the balance of nature. When our lives are out of balance everything within us and about us is negatively affected. Out-of-balance symptoms include:

Check which of these symptoms you’ve experienced in the last two months. If you didn’t check any, congratulations! If you checked up to three, consider making modifications to bring your life into better balance. If you checked four to six, I strongly urge you to make life balance a priority. If you’ve checked more than six, please consult a professional to help you achieve better balance.

Here are a few tips you can immediately put into practice to help improve your life balance:

1. Learn how to say “no.” Many people don’t know how to say no or can’t say no without feeling guilt. Saying no is being honest. Most people appreciate an honest answer! Doing something because you feel obligated to do so is usually obvious; you don’t do it with the same energy or enthusiasm you would have if you really wanted to do it. So save your energy for those things you truly can and want to do. Everyone will feel better for it.

2. Learn how to ask for help. Just as many people have trouble saying, “no”, many people have trouble asking for help. Somehow they’ve developed the belief that asking for help means they’re weak or incompetent. Oddly, when you ask for help you give people a chance to feel good. People like to help so let them do so.

3. Re-prioritize. Our lives can get out of balance simply because we have not set our priorities or have our priorities misaligned. Take a long hard look at how you spend your time and energy. Think about your top three priorities and adjust your schedule to reflect these. You only have one life. Live it wisely.

4. Simplify. Life can get very complex very quickly—if we let it. If we don’t take charge of our lives, our lives will take charge of us! Get a handle on your to-do list. Make it manageable. Cut out unnecessary busyness; it will help you feel refreshed, renewed and re-energized.

5. Organize. Much unnecessary work and frustration comes from not being organized. If you have clutter in your home and office you’re more likely to have clutter in your mind. Just cleaning and organizing the space you live and work in can lead to greater efficiency, clarity and “room to breathe.”

6. Slow Down. In keeping with the feature article, think before you act (or react). Take time to think about the consequences of your actions. The more time you spend doing what you enjoy, the more you’ll enjoy what you have to do.

Balance of life doesn’t have to be an elusive concept. While it may not be achievable as a destination due to life’s many surprises, it can be achievable as stepping stones along life’s pathway. Use the tips above to create as many “balance of life” moments as possible in your New Year.